Ecclesiastes

First post. This post is the driving factor in starting this blog. I was raised in a "Christian" home, meaning my mother considered herself a Christian, though we never went to church or talked much about religion. I began identifying myself as one, until later in life when I learned, you had to accept Jesus into your life. I was quite confused, as I thought he was already in my life, but nonetheless I accepted him. My life began to change drastically, the way I treated people became worse and better. I was more judgemental, but also more compassionate. I did not ask for things I used to would have asked for, because I knew there were too many people in the world who could use whatever money we would spend on a tv for my room, for example.

We moved to Texas when I was 15, and I became increasingly depressed. I begged God for happiness, yet cried everyday. I began thinking more, and questioning everything. I wanted to be able to argue God's word appropriately, so I sought out answers to my own questions, which were similar of skeptics. By the time I started college, I had given up on Christianity, prayer, and the Bible, in favor for a more "universal" almost pagan set of beliefs.

For the past five years, I went on saying "it's possible that God is here, but I never feel him." Until a couple of months ago, when I had more than a vision, but I had several messages placed into my Being, instructing me that my unhappiness was due to the negativity I brought into my life, myself. Even though I knew I was not "behaving" well, it wasn't until this moment that I really was able to see the damage that was happening. I was also shown a path, and this was my opportunity to take it.

Since then I've prayed almost every day, and even though I don't always feel completely sure, I can't imagine denying God anytime soon. It's as if the Holy Spirit was revived in me, forcing me to acknowledge it daily, almost annoyingly. Though it's been nothing but beneficial to my life.

The other night, I was feeling lonely, and opened the Bible for the first time in years. The book I opened it to was "Ecclesiastes," and the verses spoke so much to how I presently felt about my choices in life (geared towards accomplishment, money, and false wisdom), but the most memorable thing from these verses was the phrase "but this is meaningless."

These days are meaningless, in the sense of what matters when we die. And we all want money, though there will never be enough to satisfy. We want happiness, but all the things we derive happiness from, if it is not God, will end we die. Then what are we left with? A God we were too busy to get to know, and we will be left with a fear of the unexplored.

Socrates said, "the unexamined life is not worth living." Philosophers, Theologists, and Scientists are all in the same business, exploration and understanding.

I encourage us all to ask questions daily.