Seed in the Serpent

So this may sound a little strange, but it's very important, I feel, that I share this experience. A couple of weeks ago I had a small vision, something small enough to be doubted as whether or not it was only a thought, yet these sorts of thoughts do not appear to me on a regular basis.

I had imagined the sight of Christ being crucified, perhaps already dead, simply hanging in the wind, when this image began transforming. The cross, a Serpent, and Christ became an infant, placed by the sun (God) into the mouth of the Serpent. People were standing in rows, expressionless, watching an infant being fed to such a slimy beast, but nevertheless, out from the infant flew ribbons of light, which acted as reigns to the Serpent, under the sun's control. Also from this same energy, a swirling colored smoke filtered through the body of the Serpent, filling it with an energy which did not belong to it.

I questioned for a long time the meaning of watching an infant be sacraficed, nonetheless towards the people who were watching with no emotion, however in this vision I began to understand that perhaps the sin Jesus was redeeming us for, was really more of the human condition, with a seed of purity planted in it. So this infant's sacrafice, planted a permanent seed into the belly of sin and evil.

I still don't hold steadfast in this as an actual belief, but perhaps one idea of understanding the balance between good and evil- not forces pulling from opposite ends, but energies intertwined, constantly influencing each other, making it difficult for humans to always tell what is right and wrong, but that perhaps whatever is wrong will still have a seed of purity in it, that we may be able to detect at some point and extract out, resurrecting it.

I'd love to know thoughts. If you need a blogspot to comment, please sign up for one. :-)

In Bloom

So I recently graduated from a University which made me utterly miserable. I'm surprised at myself for making it through, since every day made me want to unleash the tasmanian devil inside. It may be that I'm not a city person (though this is the most podunk "city" I've ever seen), but I choose to believe moreso that I'm just a "well-planned" city person. Denton, Tx seems like Hell.

Since graduating I've done nothing more than get really happy, fall into a deep depression, and then finally bounce back into a normal realm of thinking. At this moment I'm sitting in my boyfriend's (of 4.5 years) parents living room (mansfield, tx), watching how amazing thie light is on their kitchen sink, daydreaming about renting a house soon, so that my beagle and her dachsund sister can run free in a yard.

I'm ready to move on, but I have no job, and my lease doesn't end until the end of August. I pray every day, however, for wealth and happiness, because God has promised us this. I pray moreso to will its event, as I've heard the power of the spoken Word is beyond all other power on Earth.

I have found peace, my money is slipping, but I'm not worried. I still have some camera equipment that I *could* sell if I *had* to. I have people who care about me, so I think it will be alright. I'm not the type of person to stress if I don't have to, only sometimes.

I wish the sunlight could be enough to keep me living, it feels that way.

Home

So normally I live in Denton, but I travelled to Mansfield for the weekend, where I grew up. Well I did most of my growing up here, even though I didn't arrive until I was 15. I visited my old house, like I always do. Like a stalker I drive by and stop my car just outside and stare at it. Last night in particular I watched it as I thought of the different memories I had with that house, personal life changing memories, and each memory made the house transform, as if it wasn't a physical presence in space, but a spiritual being in space-time. Time had allowed it to be a different home, always, for every time I changed, but nonetheless, this was my only home, the only one I felt cradled me in such ways.

A good friend of mine sent me a text, after I talked to her about this transformation, and I wanted to post what she quoted, as I thought it was quite interesting and inspirational.

"the house is not an object - a machine to live in; it is the universe that man constructs for himself by imitating the paradigmatic creation of the gods...it is equivalent to a new life."
-Eliade

Ecclesiastes

First post. This post is the driving factor in starting this blog. I was raised in a "Christian" home, meaning my mother considered herself a Christian, though we never went to church or talked much about religion. I began identifying myself as one, until later in life when I learned, you had to accept Jesus into your life. I was quite confused, as I thought he was already in my life, but nonetheless I accepted him. My life began to change drastically, the way I treated people became worse and better. I was more judgemental, but also more compassionate. I did not ask for things I used to would have asked for, because I knew there were too many people in the world who could use whatever money we would spend on a tv for my room, for example.

We moved to Texas when I was 15, and I became increasingly depressed. I begged God for happiness, yet cried everyday. I began thinking more, and questioning everything. I wanted to be able to argue God's word appropriately, so I sought out answers to my own questions, which were similar of skeptics. By the time I started college, I had given up on Christianity, prayer, and the Bible, in favor for a more "universal" almost pagan set of beliefs.

For the past five years, I went on saying "it's possible that God is here, but I never feel him." Until a couple of months ago, when I had more than a vision, but I had several messages placed into my Being, instructing me that my unhappiness was due to the negativity I brought into my life, myself. Even though I knew I was not "behaving" well, it wasn't until this moment that I really was able to see the damage that was happening. I was also shown a path, and this was my opportunity to take it.

Since then I've prayed almost every day, and even though I don't always feel completely sure, I can't imagine denying God anytime soon. It's as if the Holy Spirit was revived in me, forcing me to acknowledge it daily, almost annoyingly. Though it's been nothing but beneficial to my life.

The other night, I was feeling lonely, and opened the Bible for the first time in years. The book I opened it to was "Ecclesiastes," and the verses spoke so much to how I presently felt about my choices in life (geared towards accomplishment, money, and false wisdom), but the most memorable thing from these verses was the phrase "but this is meaningless."

These days are meaningless, in the sense of what matters when we die. And we all want money, though there will never be enough to satisfy. We want happiness, but all the things we derive happiness from, if it is not God, will end we die. Then what are we left with? A God we were too busy to get to know, and we will be left with a fear of the unexplored.

Socrates said, "the unexamined life is not worth living." Philosophers, Theologists, and Scientists are all in the same business, exploration and understanding.

I encourage us all to ask questions daily.